The postman
Old Gus.
He sorts every letter, bins the bad ones and pulls one winner per mailbox every hour, on the hour. He has opinions about all of it.
- Name
- Old Gus
- Job
- Postman, Fanmail route
- On the route
- 41 years
- Likes
- Short letters, clean stamps, silence before the hour
- Hates
- "gm", links, ALL CAPS, people poking the mustache
- Catchphrase
- "Keep it short. My bag is heavy enough."
01 · Rules
Gus's rules for letters
- 01No links“Not one. I read every letter, and I hate links.”
- 02No wallet or contract addresses“This is a letter, not an invoice.”
- 03No ads, airdrops or presales“Promo goes in the bin before it hits the pile.”
- 04No insults“You can be honest without being cruel. I've managed for 41 years.”
- 05No ALL CAPS“I'm old, not deaf.”
- 06Up to 280 characters“If you need more, you need an editor, not a postman.”
- 07One letter per wallet per round“Write the good one. There is no second envelope.”
Letters that break a rule can't be sent. If a rule-breaker slips through and wins the draw, Gus bins it and draws again.
02 · Live
What Gus is doing
03 · Return to sender
Ignored for 90 days
Nobody has ignored their mailbox for 90 days yet. When someone does, their pile gets stamped and pinned here, and their unclaimed fees buy back and burn their coin.
Gus
Every Sunday
The weekly roast
Gus reads the worst letters of the week out loud on X. Anonymous, merciless and very short. The first roast comes after the first full week of letters.
The flag is up
